I do not want any gifts for Christmas!
Or my birthday. Or Easter, Hanukkah, St. Valentine's Day or any other holiday you think requires gift giving. You do not have a clue about my tastes, and I have enough crap.
Now that's out of the way, here are the exceptions:
- You are under the age of 13. If you have not yet seen the 13th anniversary of your birth, I will accept any and all gifts you wish to give me, and treasure them forever. I still have all the rocks Godzilla picked up when we went walking around the neighborhood.
- Artwork. But only if you created it, or if it has been appraised for $10,000 (USD) or more in the last six months. If you created it, please limit yourself to one (1) piece of art per gift-giving event, unless you are a good artist. You will know if you are not a good artist when you see your ugly crap in my garbage cans come New Year's. If rule 1 applies, you will not know if you are not a good artist until after you turn 13.
- Money. If Rule 1 applies, do not give me money. I'll feel bad when I spend it.
- You. Spend time with me. If you care enough to give me a gift, I probably like you, and will appreciate your time more than any material gift. Also falling into this category is sending me a heartfelt letter or email, or just giving a call and telling me why you like me.
--End decree--
